Odes to Freddy
It's getting late, and by the time the game is over I'm not going to have the energy to do the recap. James or Dick feel free to, if not I'll do it tomorrow.
But to tide you over so you have something to do, here are my Odes to Freddy Garcia.
Freddy Garcia, A Cautionary Tale (A limerick)
Dumb ol' Freddy and his weed,
It sapped him of his speed.
A fastball now at eighty five
A curveball that refuses to dive.
Rehab is clearly what he needs.
Freddy Garcia, a rhyming Haiku
A big, fat greaseball
He likes to serve up meatballs
A loss will befall
A short rap about Sir Smokes-A-Lot
I like slow pitches and i cannot lie
You other batters can't deny
That when I throw up a pitch, without any pace
A slow thing o'er the base
You get sprung
Wanna swing up front
Cuz you noticed that ball was slow
Deep in the zone you're glaring
All the fans just can't stop swearing
SHIT
Another haiku to close
A slow, straight curveball
Over the heart of the plate
Man, what a disgrace
But to tide you over so you have something to do, here are my Odes to Freddy Garcia.
Freddy Garcia, A Cautionary Tale (A limerick)
Dumb ol' Freddy and his weed,
It sapped him of his speed.
A fastball now at eighty five
A curveball that refuses to dive.
Rehab is clearly what he needs.
Freddy Garcia, a rhyming Haiku
A big, fat greaseball
He likes to serve up meatballs
A loss will befall
A short rap about Sir Smokes-A-Lot
I like slow pitches and i cannot lie
You other batters can't deny
That when I throw up a pitch, without any pace
A slow thing o'er the base
You get sprung
Wanna swing up front
Cuz you noticed that ball was slow
Deep in the zone you're glaring
All the fans just can't stop swearing
SHIT
Another haiku to close
A slow, straight curveball
Over the heart of the plate
Man, what a disgrace
posted by Jeeves at 10:41 PM
9 Comments:
Feeling artistic, Jeeves? Maybe Slash will ask you to write some lyrics for him someday. Good stuff!
The Buehrle Bile File inspired me to look at alternative posting techniques...think that's deadspin worthy?
hell yeah
Personally I think Garcia's lack of velocity has less to do with weed and more to do with lack of greenies and maybe a few enhancements.
Tomorrow I'm taking Crede.
damn it you guys stole my picks to click...so, I'll pick Paulie, the captain.
You're probably right, Tom, but it's more fun to write about his marijuana usage.
It's even more fun when you're high yourself.
I will admit that I was planning this post before the game yesterday, and after Freddy's performance I must give credit where credit is due.
It may not have been the prettiest outing, but I'll take 3 ER in 7 innings against the Bronx Bombers, anyday. Good Job Freddy!
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