Monday, September 18, 2006

The Buehrle Bile File Says, "We're on a Highway to Hell!" Game 150 Preview

Mark Buehrle (L, 12-12, 4.76) for the Sliding Sox
vs
Kenny "the Gambler" Rogers (L, 15-6, 3.86) for the Detroit Tiggers
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The Buehrle Bile File says...

In the Baseball Bible, the Book of Pitching Exodus, chapter 20, verses 2-4 say: "Thou shalt not pitch unto thy enemies any rolling curveballs, for the baseball gods are jealous gods and only wish for such sacrifices in the case of pitching in homerun derby. (Vs.3) Thou shalt keep thy change up low and away or thou wilt give the gods reason to present some fortunate fan in the outfield with a souvenir. (Vs4) Remember the inside cutter, and keep it holy, for the gods are with the cutter and will call upon the strikeout if used correctly."

Mark Buehrle must be either an agnostic or a Satanist or a an atheist all together, cuz he certainly hasn't followed those three Pitching Commandments mentioned above. Personally I think they all gave they souls to rock-n-roll for last year's success. I mean, Journey? Come on. They coulda picked something better, cuz now they look like this...

















Hey, Bon Scott, make sure you hit line drives at Mark Buehrle's kisser when he joins you in the nether-reaches of hell. And tell him how much Journey really does suck.

My Pick to Click (btw, I really haven't given up hope, I think a sweep of Detroit will get us right back in it)...Pablo Ozuna
DickDaStick took Joe Crede

Drop your PtC in the comments, and buck up guys, we gotta keep the faith!
(Note to Jeeves: I'll have a recap up a little late, I got a softball game tonight, and I'm taping the game.)

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll take AJ.

9/18/2006 1:22 PM  
Blogger Fornelli said...

I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE!!

That said, I'm taking Thome.

9/18/2006 1:44 PM  
Blogger Jeeves said...

I'm going with a risky pick and taking Uribe.

9/18/2006 2:20 PM  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

It if weren't for the Bears, I mimght have taken to the noose this weekend with the Sox getting swept and ND looking like a Pop Warner team.

9/18/2006 2:39 PM  
Blogger Fornelli said...

My weekend sucked until Saturday. Sunday was nice despite the Sox shitting the bed, cuz for the second consecutive week I won every bet I made on the NFL.

I'm now using the money to wipe away the tears of pain for the lost season that is 2006 Chicago White Sox baseball.

9/18/2006 3:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lets hope the triple play gives them a spark.

9/18/2006 7:24 PM  
Blogger Jeeves said...

The Sox are going to give me an ulcer. I was at my friends house and we were just in absolute silence after the game ended.

I thought for sure the Sox would come out balls to wall for this game, but they looked flat, like always.

The only thing worse than watching the Sox right now is writing about them. Good luck James! I hope you at least won your softball game to temper the brutalness of this loss.

9/18/2006 11:06 PM  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

at least my softball game was close

we lost 9-7 but were down 9-2 going into the last inning

we had a guy hit a 2-out Grand Slam to make it close, closer than the Sox

but I still hate Mark Buehrle

and jeeves, did you get my email?

9/19/2006 7:29 AM  

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