Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Buehrle Bile File Says, "Don't Have It Your Way!" Game 125 Preview

Mark Buehlre (L, 10-10, 4.80) for the Good Guys

vs.

Kenny Rogers (L, 12-6, 4.34) for the Bad Guys (the Tiggers of DeTwah)

The Buehrle Bile File
writers are a hungry bunch, and we'll snack on just about anything -- hotwings, cheerios, someone else's left-over nachos in a cinema -- but our personal favorite for a midnight snack is a big, juicy Whopper™. Just typing the word makes the mouth water and the stomach rumble with pleasure. We can just smell the flame-broiled goodness, the warm sesame-seeded bun, the tart pickles. And because Burger King® is all about the people, my Whopper™ comes w/cheese, no mayo, add mustard.

Ohhhh, to "Have It Your Way." What a concept for advertisment! What generosity! What idealistic thought!

What a lousy motto for a pitcher!

All hitters have sweet spots in their swing zones -- for lefties, down and in, for righties, middle-in. But almost all hitters to a man, whether they be lefty, righty, or switch hitter, will tell you that a high, slow change-up or a slow rolling curveball will make the mouth water and the stomach rumble with pleasure.

Most pitchers try to avoid throwing these pitches, but most good pitchers aren't named Mark Buehrle. Maybe Mark is a spokesman for Burger King® and is demonstrating the ad line in a unique way. Maybe he shares Burger King's® philosophy for giving people what they want when they want it. Whatever the case may be, the White Sox won't win many games if Mark continues to make hitters drool, and they certainly won't make the playoffs either if the Tiggers snack on Mark's pitching.

Who knows? If Mark has another bile-tastic outting, maybe Scott Reifert, Brooks Boyer and the White Sox PR department can convince Burger King® to do a promotion by changing the name on back of his jersey from Buehrle to the XFL-styled..........

"Have It Your Way"



My Pick to Click...god, this is tough...everyone is slumping...how about Alomar? He'll be a first for me.

Drop your PtC in the comments, readers.

15 Comments:

Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

Also...don't forget to check out Jeeves' recap from last night's game...

I know, reading about a loss can be painful, but remember, reading is fundamental. Good for the kiddies!

8/22/2006 6:42 AM  
Blogger DickdaStick said...

Dye, Dye, he's our man - if he can't do it.......nobody can.....uh oh....

JD is my pick

8/22/2006 8:32 AM  
Blogger Criminal Appeal said...

Can we reserve some bile for Scott Podsednik? The dude needs a map to find 1st base. There were bigger problems last night, I know. But I think it's time to take the Roblo Makozuna for LF campaign global.

8/22/2006 10:24 AM  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

Needs a map...just genius.
And when playing LF, maybe a GPS.

I say we vote to change Scott's name to Pods-crap-nik!

Man Law?

8/22/2006 11:11 AM  
Blogger Jeeves said...

Briaaaaaaan Aaaaaaanderson for me!

8/22/2006 11:56 AM  
Blogger TheCount said...

Count me as one of Thome's homies. Hes my ptc

8/22/2006 3:15 PM  
Blogger Fornelli said...

Gimme Crede. Hopefully I can be his slumpbuster!

8/22/2006 3:44 PM  
Blogger thewizardsofoz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/22/2006 5:47 PM  
Blogger thewizardsofoz said...

Gotta break out of this slump.

Give us a good game Mark!

8/22/2006 5:48 PM  
Anonymous D.T. Kelly said...

I'll take Iguchi as my PTC.

And along with a GPS, give Pods a paperboy to throw the balls back for him. He may be quick, but my three year old has a stronger arm.

8/22/2006 6:00 PM  
Blogger Jeeves said...

I love feeling like the game is over in the first inning.

We need the offense to shape up today!

8/22/2006 6:36 PM  
Blogger DickdaStick said...

It's hard, but keep the faith....at least Ozzie went to bat for his boys, giving the man in blue some shit for his terrible strike zone early. My pick JD is on 3rd - let's get him in and start something!!!

8/22/2006 7:23 PM  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

Jeeves, Dickie...
Help, I'm on the verge of very bad things.
Marky Mark and the Stinky Bunch make me wanna rob a liquor store right now and not for the money!

8/22/2006 7:49 PM  
Blogger DickdaStick said...

These are the times that test your mettle...

Seems OZ MUST MUST change something or ..........

8/22/2006 8:45 PM  
Blogger Jeeves said...

Ozzie should punch someone. Hopefully Pods or he could take the All-Star vote slogan to heart and punch AJ.

Yes I know I'm being ridiculous

8/22/2006 8:48 PM  

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