Saturday, September 16, 2006

Game 147: It's Hard To Have A Broken Heart With A Game Lacking A Pulse

Sox lose, 4-2.

Welcome to Ozzie's Funhouse! Let's turn on Paulie...what's the secret word of the day? Lackluster! So every time you see Mackowiak helplessly flailing for a routine shallow fly, every Jim Thome strikeout, every stolen base off A.J.'s arm, and every brain-freeze by a Sox player, SCREAM REAL LOUD! Oh, wait, you had probably been screaming all night long, with language far out of the realm of most talking puppets from a children's show.

This was a painful game to watch from start to finish. Our most explosive offensive outburst, besides a small pinging culminating with a Jermaine Dye sac fly, was a Rob Mackowiak golfshot out to right. So much talk about jinxing occured with Freddy's near-perfect game that I forgot not to jinx Rob, as I complimented him on a nice grab just preceding his homer early in the game. Ha ha ha, silly me, as the A's did a little merry-go-round on the bases after he botched a grab that, to repeat a recurring theme, BRIAN ANDERSON WOULD HAVE CAUGHT. One run scored by Mackowiak, two runs allowed thanks to Mackowiak.

Tonight, however, was more about revenge for the ex-Sox. Frank Thomas has hit us solidly this year, and Esteban Loiaza stepped forward to thank Kenny Williams for dumping him in favor of Jose Contreras. This win by Esteban aside, that trade still is one of the most rewarding in Sox history, and you almost want to tip your hat to Esteban after he showed what he did back in 2003. I would be tipping it plenty if we had come back off Dustechershershingsher or Husston...houston...hueston...H. Street. But alas, Paulie ended the game with the bat on his shoulders, leaving us to ponder why we put 3 hours of our lives watching this failure in motion.

Good Ozzie Move of the Game: I can't recall any truly GOOD Ozzie moves, there were a number of okay ones though, like putting Boone in for a batter in a tough situation. LOOGY, anyone?

Bad Ozzie Move of the Game: For the 50th game this season, putting Rob Mackowiak in center field. Yes, he can hit. Make him the DH until Big Jim figures out his spring swing again. anything but make him the center fielder. I'd rather see Juan Uribe in center, because if I have to see bad fielding, I want it to be entertaining and humorous, and I think Juan would do a better job of that.

Oh, and other than that, the other bad move would be leaving Neal Cotts in after such a nice job the inning prior. Confidence goes up...and confidence comes back down.

Play of the Game: Esteban Loiaza getting Jim Thome to pop up weakly in the 6th with runners on 1st and 3rd and 2 outs. A double gives the Sox the lead. A homer puts the game away. A pop up leads Pander to drinking.

Big Ups: Jon pitched over a lot of hits and bad defense to actually DESERVE a quality start, missing it by a mere 1/3 of an inning. How you manage a WHIP of 2 for almost 6 innings with only giving up 3 runs is beyond me, for a while Javy was giving up 6 runs in one inning on like 3 hits and no walks somehow, as if by magic. Other than that...

Player of the Game:
...Boone Logan? This one is completely up to you, because I can't point to a single Sox player who had a good night except him, and he only had a good night thanks to brevity and the relativity of everyone else sucking.

Screw that, the player of the game is Ryan Garko of Cleveland for beating the Twins in extras with an RBI single. Blah.


Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

Well put and well done, Pander. No player of the game for me either.

9/16/2006 8:07 AM  
Blogger DickdaStick said...

Some of the most poignant prose ever written has come from hearts torn asunder.....and yours is a perfect rendering, Pander, as we slowly sink in the West with nary a whimper heard from our boys and our dreams slipping beyond...

....but wait !!... in keeping with this whack-job season, Sox will probably come out with all guns blazing today, Vazquez K-ing A's like a maniac and deal Zito his worst of the year....and we'll all live happily.....

9/16/2006 10:30 AM  
Blogger Fornelli said...

What a shock, Sox score 9 runs one game, and take a dump the next.

Never saw that coming.

AT least the Twins lost, and they send Silva to the mound against Sabathia tonight. I like our chances there.

Tonight I'm taking Pablo.

9/16/2006 11:58 AM  
Blogger DickdaStick said...

Forgot my pick earlier - give me Paulie. I figure he'll die before he lets himself fuck up again like last night

9/16/2006 12:56 PM  
Anonymous D.T. Kelly said...

I'll take Uribe

9/16/2006 2:01 PM  

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