Thursday, August 17, 2006

Sox Lose, Cubs Win, God Is Dead

Sox Lose 10-4 (Though It Felt Like Infinity Billion to None)

Now far be it from me to...

No, it's not too far from me to SHAKE OZZIE LIKE A BRITISH NANNY. Unless keeping Brian off the lineup card is part of some rookie hazing process arcane and retarded to me but inviolate to the Blizzard of Ozz, there's no excuse for seeing Mack in center. None. This is not the pony league, we do not have to play the kid who would rather be at Math Camp just because his parents insist THEIR CHILD IS NOT A GODDAMN NERD. We play who'll win, and while getting playing time for Alex and Rob is nice and dandy, it's being done at the expense of our two best defensive players who also happen to be hitting better than their replacements.

Yes, it's Kansas City, the baseball capital in the world for people who hate winning baseball, and we theoretically could start Hadley's School of the Blind and expect a solid win. But we're not Hadley's School for the Blind, we lack their heart and spirit and timely hitting and patience at the plate and defense and ability to not throw taters to the sweet part of enemy bats. Where did things go wrong? What...what game was I watching? If I were a Tampa Bay fan, even I would have been disappointed by what transpired tonight. Oooooooh...I'm just so...

If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome!

Those four runs were essentially pointless fan service, a nice little light show to keep people from pulling a Disco Demolition Night Part 2 from sheer frustration. I wouldn't even know too much about it, because I decided watching South Park after the 8th inning proved maddening. I'm not a fairweather fan by a long stretch (I went to quite a number of games in 1996, my purple heart of sorts), but when the horse is gathering flies, it's time to stop the beating and just give it a mercy killing.

Well, at leas the old saying holds true, "momentum is the next night's starter". ...shit.

White Sox Player of the Game:

I CALLED IT. Sure, Jonathon Kelley STOLE my pick, that nefarious supervillain he is. The point is, he went 3/4 (accounting for a 1/3 of our total hits, sadly) with a great pick in the dirt (which Hawk and DJ gushed over for 7.3 solid minutes afterwards), and deserves it. Never you mind the fact that had Brian Anderson started, he would have had 27 putouts and hit 5 homers in 4 at-bats, he's just that amazing. Siiiigh.


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